Thursday, March 01, 2007

In God We Trust, But We Still Need To See His I.D.

Well, it's been a while since we have taken a look at the wacky world of religious nuttiness. For all their inane antics, the gullibility of the pious is an unending source of humor. Really, you just cannot make this stuff up. Still, a couple of stories in the news caught my eye this week.

First, from the town of Hobart, Indiana, Kevin Russell has gotten worldwide attention after his arrest for trying to cash a check. What's unusual about that? Well, the check was from God, and was made out in the amount of $50,000. The 21-year-old took the check to the Chase Bank in Hobart, and the signature of "King Savior, King of Kings, Lord of Lords, Servant" made the teller think something was amiss. Could it be that God had overdrawn his account? Maybe he has been passing bad checks all over town...heck, all over the universe!

Poor Kevin not only could not cash his check, for which we assume God still owes him; but he was arrested and is being held in jail with a $1000 bond. You know, maybe God could at least cover the cost of bailing him out!

Then from my hometown of Houston, Texas, we have a controversy surrounding a magical pizza pan. Guadelupe Rodriguez, a cafeteria worker at Pugh Elementary School in the Houston Independent School District, was washing a pizza pan after lunch. She noticed an appearance by the blessed Virgin Mary in a grease spot on the pan. Mary has an affinity for cheese, I suppose. She has been known to appear on grilled cheese sandwiches. Now the pan that once baked a tasty, cheesy pizza is her home; and pilgrims are coming to the holy pan by the hundreds, to receive healing from the Mother of Chrust.

After some controversy in which Guadelupe had to give the pan back to the school, an arrangement has been worked out where she can keep the pan. Holy Cheezus Chrust!

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